Hello my Sassy Little Divas. My sincerest apologies for the delay in posts. You may have read my last post (Sassy +1) about the wonderful man that is (and has been) my other half.

No more of that mushy talk though, it’s business time. I, Sassy McNasty vow never to abandon you lovelies again.

Ok, moving on.

In the last 7 months I’v also experienced the delightful joy of adding a new member to our little family. Nope, not a little baby (that’s 9 months friends, stay with me). A PUPPY!

Alex surprised me on my birthday with a trip out to a Lab rescue to pick up the most adorable Lab/Boxer pup in all the land. His name is Pancake (not my doing).

Of course puppies are high-energy and don’t know any better most of the time. BUT that does not mean we can skip the basics and let our sassy etiquette fall by the wayside. Please continue.

• Clean up after your little nugget! It IS ok for your pup to relieve himself while on a walk (it’s encouraged, especially if you are like myself and need to invest in a new living room chair). Always bring a plastic baggy with you so you can dispose of the waste pronto. If you don’t, the other dog walkers will scowl at you when you go out. Just saying.
• Contain the beast. Make sure your pup is on his/her leash at all times. You never know who you will run into on your walk – A scared little kid, a ferocious dog, or maybe just a friendly couple. Regardless, you want to make sure you have control of each situation.
• Give everyone their own space. Your dog may think that everyone is his/her best friend. That’s great for them, awkward for you when the other dog’s owners get cranky. If you are passing by another leashed dog give them the chance to say hello and then move along. Dog parks are an exception of course, but you need to know the limitations and your dog’s personality.

I thought I would start with a few puppy-walking tips. More to follow my friends.

Keep it sassy and toss your little pup a treat

Love is in the air my fellow sassy ladies. It seems just as I finish picking out the perfect (aka affordable) present on one friend’s bridal registry, I get another invitation in the mail. I would never complain about such things though. As a sucker for all things cute and romantic (if you don’t believe me, you should see my collection of chick flicks), I can definitely appreciate the wonderful emotion that is love.

Of course my “young and stupid” days are over and I have a more realistic approach to life…and boyfriends. As a newly un-single lady (he’s adorable…but I’ll spare you the mushy lovey-dovey details), I have definitely come to realize that there is a true art to dating. Being the Sassy Expert that I am, it is my job to make sure all of you lovelies out there are tip-top girlfriend material.

Traditional dating has gone out the window it seems so I won’t bore you with “which fork do I use when my salad arrives?” because let’s be honest, those days are over (and honestly, if you don’t know then maybe stick to dinner at Chili’s).

1. Make sure you are YOURSELF! This is number one for a reason…don’t ever forget this one ladies.
Someone who can’t appreciate who YOU are just isn’t worth your time. Believe me, there are plenty of fish in the sea…and just as many frogs.

2. Let him spoil you (that is his job after all), but after you’ve had the “yes, we’re official” talk, remember that you guys are a team. You’re in this together! Make the most of it.

3. Don’t spend every waking moment together. This one can be tricky for several reasons. If you happen to fall head over heels for that cutie in the cubicle next to you (*cough cough, oops cough cough*), it might be difficult. BUT, it’s important to savor those precious moments together and not get burnt out. What fun would that be anyway?

4. Do FUN things together and SMILE! This should be your top priority. My fabulous college roommate and best friend always said “If it’s good, keep it. If it’s bad, remove it.” This quote can be applied to almost everything in your life. That cheese in the fridge, those favorite black pumps, and even your boyfriend. If you’re smiling then you’re happy and that’s really all that matters in this world (and having cute shoes of course).

5. Have “Apart Days” – this is very important, especially in the beginning. I am a firm believer that your significant other should enhance your life and who you are. Time alone keeps your own life in check and reminds you that A) You are still your own awesome person, and B) You most definitely want him in your life because you miss him.

I will do a run-down of the proper etiquette for that perfect date in the future but these are some good things to think about in the mean time.

Keep is Sassy Ladies, and I expect an invitation to the wedding

Ahh, the gym. It seems we all have kind of a love/hate relationship with that wonderful little place. There is nothing better than that sexy feeling you get after an incredible workout. A glass of bubbly Champagne or perfect first kiss comes close, but we’ll save those for another day.

In order to get that post-workout swag, you have to make an appearance at the gym. You must also remember that you are not the only girl up in the gym just working on her fitness. I am a huge advocate of sassiness, but gym time is a stress-relieving, ass-toning, mind clearing time in your life; save the sass for times when your makeup isn’t sweating off your face.

1. Remember that you are NOT the only one at the gym. A personal in-home trainer is a lovely thought, but for those of us who don’t live Real Housewife lives, we have to learn to share. If you hit the gym during peak hours, make sure you follow the facility’s guidelines for machine times. If the sign says 20 minutes at a time that means 20 minutes…not 45.

2. No germs please! Those handy gym wipes aren’t just there for decoration. Wipe up your sweat because it’s gross. There is no way to sugar coat this one.

3. Save the belly shirt for the club (or maybe just throw it away because this isn’t 1999 anymore). You may think you look smoking hot in that half t-shirt. Props to you if you do, but in a public gym it’s better to keep it simple and rock the classic NIKE tee like the rest of us.

4. Quiet please! No, you’re not at an Opera house so you don’t need to mute your entire workout. BUT make sure your iPod isn’t cranked all the way up. The girl next to you might not share the same love for Nelly that you do! Also – catch up with your girlfriends on the phone at home. Your powerwalk is no time for a gossip sesh.

Keep it classy at the gym, ladies.

I recently discovered the joy and relaxation that accompanies the sacred art of cooking. Of course by ‘cooking’ I mean baking cupcakes….but at least it’s a start. I will admit, I cheated and bought the mix for the carrot cake cupcakes (I told you, baby steps!). The cream cheese frosting however, was made from scratch. That’s right, I said it, SCRATCH! Needless to say the kitchen was covered in flour, vanilla and all sort of other ingredients I had no idea how to use until that wonderful Sunday afternoon. The end result? DELICIOUS. My office definitely approved.

So, as part of my new life goal to be able to at least cook for myself I decided to host a girls’ lunch at my house for a few of the lovely ladies at work. We usually head out to Paradise Bakery or something equally as sassy. But on this particularly hot Friday afternoon I thought lunch at my new apartment would be much better.

Being the Sassy McNasty that I am, I of course had to have everything set before they arrived. I’m a natural born hostess and jump at the chance to throw any sort of get together. That being said, there is a certain etiquette involved for both the hostess AND the guests. Keep these tips in mind next time you’re hosting or attending a get-together of any kind.

Hostess

• Make sure you have everything (or mostly everything) prepared before your guests arrive. There is nothing more stressful than trying to put the finishing touches on those gourmet desserts (read: cupcakes) while trying to entertain guests.

• Make sure your house (especially the bathroom) gets a thorough cleaning. Washing your hands in a sink with someone else’s toothpaste spots does not set a good tone for your party.

• Music: Pick something that YOU like to listen to and that sets the tone for the party. My music of choice would be a combination of Frank Sinatra and Michael Buble. If you and your guests aren’t quite into the big band era, don’t push it. Pick something that makes you feel comfortable and relaxed. If you are confident in your own home the party will be flawless.

• Accessibility: make sure your guests know where key things are. Drinks? Ice? Bathroom? Appetizer plates? The last thing you want is to be directing traffic all night. Save yourself the trouble (and that heinous orange vest).